Comments for Auckland Poetry

Comment on four senryu by aebra

aebra — Mon, 12 May 2008 05:08:12 +0000

This is a strange brand of sarcasm. The part about Italians seems offensive. A funny idea, though.

Comment on Tanka & epigram by aebra

aebra — Sun, 11 May 2008 11:00:41 +0000

I like the Tanka, but think that the epigram lacks any subtlety.

Comment on Memory of Shanghai by aebra

aebra — Sun, 11 May 2008 10:53:10 +0000

Wow, I agree. This is great. Stark, vivid imagery that requires empathy.

Comment on Music is fluid by aebra

aebra — Sun, 11 May 2008 10:44:55 +0000

I like the image of fluidity and movement. Oozing is a great word! I think you’re trying too hard to make the poem rhyme though… just let it flow- “of the land” doesn’t feel right. The word choices feel a little unnatural in parts like that. The rest is beautiful.

Comment on lives avenue by resveratrol

resveratrol — Fri, 09 May 2008 15:06:47 +0000

resveratrol…

Many southerners grow hyperbolic when describing the pain of fire ant stings, but to the connoisseur of pain, the fire ant is less than ordinary. For example, have yourself stung by the Florida harvester ant ( Pogonomyrmex badius ) for comparison purpo…

Comment on hardened by Emancipation Planz

Emancipation Planz — Wed, 07 May 2008 10:21:45 +0000

a descriptive … that hits as a prize in the eye… keep writing them One Peace at a Time

Comment on hardened by vicwest49

vicwest49 — Mon, 05 May 2008 08:07:35 +0000

A gritty melancholy.
Perahaps the use of ‘wallowing’ could be reconsidered?

Comment on wings by vicwest49

vicwest49 — Mon, 05 May 2008 08:02:46 +0000

Wondrous sanity!

Comment on Lost in the Plantation by vicwest49

vicwest49 — Mon, 05 May 2008 08:00:08 +0000

An honest evocation of pain.
Reminds of the conclusion of Cowper’s ‘The Castaway’

‘We perish each alone
But I beneath a rougher sea than he.’

Comment on Tanka & epigram by W.S. Vun

W.S. Vun — Sat, 03 May 2008 06:44:47 +0000

Sharp juxtaposition. I enjoyed the tanka, especially.

Sincerely,
W.S. Vun